The Wraith

A so-bad-it's-funny 80's action/vague horror movie, with some sci-fi undertones. Car chases, random killings, Charlie Sheen...this movie's got almost everything you need to laugh at it, not with it. Though I can think of worse ways to spend an evening...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092240/

Yet another quick update...

Just got back from Adam Hills. It was awesome.

Choice quotes of the evening (bad language a-plenty here, just so you know)...

'It affected me the same way I imagine a clown molesting my father would. I knew it would affect me, I just wasn't sure how...'

'You know that American swimmer? Misty Hyman? I'm sorry, but if your last name is Hyman, you don't call your daughter an adjective.'

'Starbucks make BAD COFFEE. Going to Starbucks for coffee is just like going to prison for sex. You know you're gonna get it, it'll just be a bit rough.'

'We're about to recreate flashdance with Irn Bru and a man named Scott. If nothing else, you can fucking tell we're in Scotland.'

He also decided to tell us of a sign unique to Australian sign language, which means 'fuck you, fuck the lot of you'. The man is a genius!

Looks like I started strong this year. Hopefully the only way is up! Will give a fuller, more rounded opinion when I'm less tired. But for now, he was absolutely fantastic!

A Walk Down the Mile 05/08/09

Sooo, thought of a new feature for those of you with a vague interest in the Festival who can't actually come up - I'll record a video each week on Wednesday along this route, which is pretty much the exact centre of the Fringe festival, complete with tourists, show publicity people and street performers!

Apologies for the rubbish sound quality - seems my hand was scraping against the microphone for some of it. Won't happen next week! Hope you enjoy!

Forgotten Milestones

Didn't notice, but the Harry Potter review was my 150th post! Not one of those fake anniversary posts, either - 150 posts including 34-and-a-half movie reviews, 7-and-a-half video game reviews, and an inordinately large amount of random shite to fill the gaps. Not going so badly, so thanks to everyone who's visited for your time! If there was no-one reading it, I wouldn't bother...but so long as some traffic comes trickling my way...well, I should probably get on with it!

Fringe is going well. That's about it really - it's a job, y'know?

Got no less than three shows coming up in the next week that I'm going to see. First up on Thursday is Adam Hills. If you live in Britain or Australia and haven't seen him on any of the gamut of comedy panel shows that grace our screens, then what the hell? If you aren't in that demographic, you're kinda forgiven. Anyways, he's Australian and he's got an artificial foot. Enjoy.

Then there's Matt Kirshen, who I'm marginally less enthusiastic about, but Fee loves him. Seems to me that he recycles the same material. But then again, I only saw him at a stand-up showcase, and comedians usually have a little set planned for such occasions, so I shouldn't hold it against him. Must...wait...till...after...show...before...judging... Anyways, have a look.

Finally, there's Dylan Moran. You should know who he is, and I can't be arsed to Google him! Watch Monster over Like Totally, but whatever - he's great. His new show is called What It Is, and I've got tickets! Yay!

Nothing much else happening. Got Watchmen on Blu-Ray, which was good. It's added to my miniscule BD collection consisting of only Sweeney-Todd! Anyways, Watchmen was exactly as good as I remember it being - and in HD, it was almost like watching it in the cinema again. Only thing missing was the big surround sound, but that's still a work in progress thing that I'm planning on installing...well...y'know, when I can destroy walls without forfeiting a flat deposit.

Anyways, I'm going to try and get loads of photos of the Festival, maybe give those who can't come over to Edinburgh a small slice of what it's like! If you are coming up, give a shout out too, I'd genuinely love to hear what other people are up to!

That's it, really...bye now!

Brüno

Despite coming from a high-flying comedy stable, Brüno more often than not falls flat with it's calling out of American homophobia. There are some amusing scenes - the 'how to defend yourself against a homosexual' sequence being worthy of particular mention - but for the most part it's merely cringeworthy.

The Hangover

Consistently funny from start to finish, with outlandish set pieces and cutting one-liners a-plenty, this is certainly one of the best comedy films that didn't come out of Kevin Smith or The Frat Pack's mind for a very long time.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Review

******** SPOILERS ABOUND!!! ********

As you may or may not know at this point - depending entirely on whether or not you're a regular reader of my ramblings, really - I'm not Harry Potter's biggest fan. In fact, it's safe to say that I'm in the camp that 'ain't a huge fan', to put it delicately. So you can imagine how tough it might be for me to admit just how much of an improvement the latest entry into Potter's cinematic canon is...more so for me to admit that I actually, sorta, maybe, y'know...enjoyed it. Terrifying, I know, but allow me to elaborate.

Let's get the bad out of the way first - it's the usual gamut of complaints that have plagued the franchise from day one. The acting of the kids is wildly inconsistent, with Rupert Grint the only one coming out of that particular clusterfuck with a genuine smile on his face. Conversely, Emma Watson is left crushed at the bottom of it, her Hermione a limp shadow of the 'next best thing' that she was touted as.

For me, it's slowly precipitating that Miss Watson should perhaps investigate a new path for her acting career, because she can simply no longer sit in the kooky, fuzzy, intellectual shoes of Miss Granger - that type of character acting seems to be simultaneous way above her and miles below her. Perhaps if she learned how to move parts of her face other than her eyebrows and nostrils...anyway, the mantle of 'female carrying the franchise' falls squarely on Bonnie Wright's shoulders. There's nothing short of a miraculous improvement as her Ginnie steps from a supporting role into the main ensemble. Potter himself remains largely unchanged, with Radcliffe maintaining the monotony of his performance for yet another film. 'Forgettable' is an apt word for his portrayal - there are far more interesting characters in this film, but I'll talk about them later.

Then there's the other niggle in that this just so happens to be based upon the weakest of the seven novels, and what flimsy plot the was in the first place - the novel was essentially a protracted sign-off for Dumbledore - has been stripped down even further. Whilst the novel had a few interesting side-plots that - whilst not essential - gave some bulk to the canon as a whole, this leaves but the bare bones, and seeing as the novel had barely three major plot points, the movie can do nothing but follow them from A to B to C rather diligently. It very much feels like a secondary concern, neglected in favour of the two part bonanza that is to be The Deathly Hallows Parts One and Two, serving only to represent the fact that another school year has passed in their world, with about 10 minutes of dramatic weight total amid all the filler. This doesn't, however, stop it from being a 153-minute behemoth that - were it not for the soon-to-be-mentioned positives - would test the patience of even the most dedicated Potter fan.

But positives there are, and such positives as have never graced the franchise until now. This is - for the most part, at least - down to one man: David Yates. Apparently there are wizards in this world - even if their powers are as mundane as being able to manipulate celluloid in a pleasing manner. Regardless, Yates has conjured up an absolute visual treat - a fully realised fantasy world that far surpasses anything described in those now dusty old tomes. Gorgeous, special-effects-enhanced vistas and intimate, detailed explorations of Hogwarts Diagon Alley and the Weasley's home are the order of the day - the fragility of the plot allowing Yates a huge amount of breathing room to explore the world itself, and whilst there's a lot of plot lost to the cutting room floor, the amount of detail is second to none. To say that Half-Blood Prince makes Order of the Phoenix look like test footage is to understate the matter immensely.

The quidditch sequences too - whilst not a core part of the proceedings, despite it being perhaps one of the most cinematic 'sports' ever conceived - are exhilarating, but more importantly are flecked with a fantastically cheeky wit, as are all but the most serious of the set pieces. A straight face is not an option, if I'm being honest - you should be smiling whilst watching this movie, otherwise you may very well be dead.

But it's not just directorial flair that pulls Potter 6 out of the doldrums and into the realms of enjoyable. That's also down to same absolutely fantastic performances from the older members of the cast. Alan Rickman and Dame Maggie Smith once again excel as Snape and MacGonagal respectively - and the quality of the film, it seems, has finally caught up with them. Michael Gambon - whilst still nowhere near as good a fit as the late, great Sir Richard Harris - has real poise and fragile grace as the under-fire Dumbledore, and David Thewlis -whilst hideously under-used - is still as good as ever as Remus Lupin.

It is, however, the newer cast members that are the most interesting. Most pleasing of all is an absolutely magnificent performance from Jim Broadbent as the mildly delusional Professor Slughorn, playing it with joyous pomp and sombre gravity in equal measure. Then there's Helena Bonham Carter's deliciously unstable portrayal of Bellatrix Lestrange, all wild eyes and a strange, gaunt delicacy that I'd imagine Carter being the only one capable of bringing to the character.

All in all, this is a film that sacrifices some meat of the plot in favour of some wonderful performances (from the adults, at least) and a hugely refined vision of the world. There's still the usual problems that stem from the days when Chris Columbus was in charge, but if you can step past them, there's actually far too much to like about the film. Disturbingly so, in fact. I think I'll need a shower...but...

Mentiroso! Again!

Okay, so maybe I lied a little and am not going to see Public Enemies tonight! Bit gutted, but it did mean that I saw the new Harry Potter movie yesterday, which I suppose is a plus!

Will definitely try and write a review, but suffice to say I was quite surprised by the fact that I didn't think it was the worst movie ever. Visually strong, and with a fantastic performance from Jim Broadbent as Professor Slughorn, it's certainly the best one so far.

I'm rather confused as to where this leaves the old 'sequels are always worse' rule, though...still, if your a HP fan you ought to love it!

Hopefully the next post will be a review! So watch out for that! Laters!

iPhone! DoW2! BF1943! B:AS! Acronyms galore!

Yes, I am a dirty dirty dirty whore. I've sold out to Apple, I'll admit it. But bugger me if the iPhone is worth it. Seriously - for those of you who may or may not be on the fence out there: it's worth it!

I mean, yes - there's the possible problem of the over-heating. But so far it seems that a) it only happens if you absolutely pound it in terms of use. 3-hour iPhone binges seem to be the source of all the hassle - and I doubt any mobile is designed to withstand 3 hours of continuous, high-speed use. It gets a wee bit warm if you play a game for 30-minutes straight, but beyond that, nothing spectacular to report.

Got free sandwiches today! That was brilliant - we went into Chocolate Soup at about 9pm, and the place closes at 9.30pm, so they toss out all the sandwiches made in the morning. But not after offering them to the customers in the shop! Cheese sandwiches were had all round! Yay!



Got Dawn of War 2 as well, and that's pretty good, although some of the missions are obnoxiously difficult, and others are just ludicrously easy. Doesn't really seem to be a middle ground between them...so you can't really ease yourself into the hard ones! But still, the mechanics of the single-player campaign work really well, and the pseudo-roleplaying elements are a welcome change from the usual rigamarole of 'build base, defend base, build army, attack, repeat', instead making battles all about momentum, squad skill and battelfield tactics, rather than who can build the stronger army faster. A proper review may well be in order, but I shan't do anything until I've tried everything the game has to offer, including what is apparently an excellent multiplayer component.

Next game I'm-a get is Battlefield 1943. I'm fairly concerned about the rather steep price tag - most arcade games are 800 points, this one's 1200! - but from what I've played so far, it does seem to be rather enjoyable. After that, it's Batman: Arkham Asylum, then the September double of Halo ODST and Modern Warfare 2. 2009 is definitely looking like a great year for gaming!

Going to see Public Enemies on Saturday. Really looking forward to that - Michael Mann maintains a place in my Favourite Directors of All Time list, so any new film by him is going to be a big thing! Will definitely post a review when I've seen it, though it may take a while to concoct!

That's about it for now...hopefully next thing you see here will be a review!

Laters!

Red Sonja

Old school fantasy with deliciously cheesey acting from Brigitte Nielson and Arnie, coupled with a reasonably well conceived story and some great fight sequences all come together to form a mildly diverting action-fantasy film. Still as perplexing as ever that Arnie got top billing for a glorified cameo role, but still...good fun. Let down only by - even by back then's standards - ropey special effects and spotty production design.