30 August 2009

Distinct lack of stuff...

Okay, so the title is misleading...I do have lots of stuff to talk about. But what I do lack is the time to get it done.

So! Expect some proper updatage on Tuesday/Wednesday!

Take it easy, good people of the interwebs!

22 August 2009

A Walk Down the Mile 19/08/09

Posted it on YubTub ages ago...but forgot to post it here! Sorry

18 August 2009

This is another suprise song...

Nice little surprise tonight. I have analytics - that's right, I'm watching you, tracking your every move...on...y'know...my site - and a beautiful thing happened. Someone, somewhere Googled ' "Adam Hills" "irn bru" "scott" "2009" ' and my site is the second from top result! Absolutely gorgeous moment, in my honest opinion, and whoever it was...how awesome was that opening?!?!?

Anyways, seen a whole spate of comedy in the last 36 hours...

First up was One Man Show-Off, a low-key sketch show performed by one guy called Dave. Not the best thing I've ever seen, but hardly the worst. He did two wonderful sketches - the first was him playing an Arabic tour-guide, and it was such a spot-on parody that I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Unfortunately, it seemed I was the only one in the room who had lived in Egypt, and thus I was laughing by myself. Not so good. The other seemed to tickle everyone else, with the man brilliantly miming being a jock at a club who gets dissappointed when a slow song comes on. Trying in vain to get his mates all worked up again, he eventually succumbs to the music and finally gets the courage to ask a girl to dance. This just so happens to be a girl rather daintily sat in the seat in front of me. Plant or no, it was a brilliantly pitched sketch and overall I was pretty impressed.

Not so impressed with the second act - Tiffany Stevenson. Same deal with Janeane Garofalo here - she'd be an interesting person to talk to, but she just didn't have an hour of stand-up in her, with the material exactly resembling a 10-minute idea stretched out to sixty minutes. She also had the gall to start slagging off members of the audience - and considering that our numbers were already slight thanks to terrible reviews from three different sources, that wasn't exactly the best way to win us over. Particularly when it wasn't funny. Oh well, you see some great stuff...you see some shit.

The final free show of the day - ah, to have mates who work at a venue! - was Phil Kay's Oh! Edinburgh! (or should I say Oh! Enbra!), and it was fantastic. For those of you who aren't familiar with The Madness of Phil Kay, he's essentially a train-of-thought comedian in the most literal sense possible. His comedy literally comes straight out of his head on the night - he's this mad old hippy who lives in tents in Edinburgh and he's got about a thousand stories about different things that have happened to him at varies times in his bonkers life. He's also got a serious story-telling gift, infusing even the most mundane stories with bouncing energy as he flies from one side of the stage to the other. The highlight being the tale of how he and 12 others stormed Edinburgh Castle butt-naked. Yes. You heard me.

About here my luck ran out, and I had to pay to go see Axis of Awesome. Just as good as last year, with some new songs and some old favourites. They even replaced their 'learning songs' with 'surprise songs', to the tune of Sex is on Fire by the Kings of Leon. With 'your sex is on fire' replaced with 'the milk has expired', 'my mum is a liar' and 'she had a penis'. Madness. But the highlight of this one was their song called 'What Would Jesus Do?'. So, you know, the point of asking it is that Jesus is a paragon of man, so to speak. But the thing is, if he was how the Christians actually believe he was - you know, a zombie magician - then there's no fucking way any of us can hope to emulate 1% of his awesomeness. So there's no point! Genius.

Last and not least, there was Shappi Khorsandi - who, by the by, is miniscule. Definitely shorter than Napoleon. Anyways, she was wonderfully funny - genuinely enganging and so ludicrously quick with a line that sometimes it's tough to keep up. Her material was interesting too - about no-one having enough time to be an activist these days, hence the title The Distracted Activist. Can't really pick out one highlight in particular...though she did mistake me and Fee for staff at the Pleasance, which was fun!

That's it, really. Big update, for once! Adieu!

14 August 2009

Plii Wotion Mus and the rest.

So...yeah...like...yeah...Wii Motion Plus. It's...well, it's been said a hundred thousand times, so what's the harm in one more? It makes the Wii do what they said it would do. Finally.

Now, I can hear you thinking - at least, the people who've read at least a few of my rantings about the Wii will be thinking - 'Ross, you dastardly devious devil! Didn't you get rid of your Wii?' Indeed I did. But part of the great thing about having a sofa and a whole bunch of friends who are festival workers is that there's always someone in need of a couch to sleep on at times like these. And one of those buddies just so happens to have a Wii which was in need of a TV to be used with. One thing led to another, and now - once again - my 360, the lothario that it is, is snuggled up next to a cute, perky Wii. Complete with the surgical enhancement that is the Motion Plus thingy. And she even brought contraception...

Sorry for the gross anology, but there isn't much more you can say about the strange floppy plastic thing that is more or less required to be wrapped about the WiiMote. Anyways, thank Steve that it is there, because it makes such dramatic improvements to the Wii's control method that it's an utter wonder they released the Wii without it.

Based on the two games that are actually any good on Wii Sports Resort (them being the sword-fighting, archery and the frisbee game - the still-as-fun-as-ever bowling aside), this is an absolutely enormous step up. Gone are the vague interpretation of movements - now the precise angle and level of the thing is calculated in more-or-less real-time. This allows for precision swings of a sword, almost pin-point accuracy with a bow, and exactly replicating the flick of your wrist as you chuck the frisbee. Brilliance.

Still doesn't play DVDs, though. That's still retarded. I suppose I can hate it for that...

Seen a lot of comedy in the last few days. Well...'comedy' on one count, and 'COMEDY!!!!!!!!!' on the other. Janeane Garofalo, unfortunately, falls under the latter.

Considering that it is billed as stand-up, and it is rather prominently featured at one of the biggest comedy venues at the Fringe (the Gilded Balloon...if you're in Edinburgh and you haven't been...why?), it was just a little surprising that she wasn't really that funny. It was more interesting than funny, with her talking about her life and her current state of mind more than cracking any jokes. Some observations are amusing, some are not. What's more, she had the balls to milk her opening applause to a rather extreme point, then proceed with a massively under-rehearsed show. I mean, yeah...she's famous, but fuck! She could at least put some effort into having a point. But no, she turns up looking rather like Ugly Betty on a bad day, rambles for a bit, then buggers off. Not exactly worth the £12 spent on her. So yeah, disappointed with that.

The 'COMEDY!!!!!!!' was going to Late'n'Live (again at GB...yes, I like the place) with Patrick Monahan compering a show that involved pile-ons, lesbians and an angry drunk guy attempting to heckle a gay male comedian, only to have said comedian's crotch more or less thrust in his face. Sophisticated? No...but bugger me if it wasn't entertaining.

Got a video of Monahan instigating the pile-on...will try and upload if I can get the bugger converted down to a less ludicrous size (440MB? For a 4-minute video? Christ!).

That's about it, really...bed time now. Laters.

A Walk Down the Mile 13/08/09

11 August 2009


Well, Dylan Moran was really good. In typical fashion, I think it'll need a re-watching to even have a hope of remembering anything that he said! Fuck it, if I could get tickets to go see him tomorrow, I would. Unfortuantely, he's sold out - and I also have a ticket to go see Janeane Garofalo tomorrow! Which'll be good.

He did talk about a whole range of things, though - part of his genius is that he could probably make amusing observations about anything, even if it is by simply applying his own brand of madness to it. So to try and remember it kind of defeats the point, I imagine! Still, it was a thoroughly entertaining show, and definitely worth catching if you can!

Matt Kirshen was excellent, too. Contrary to my fears, this was a show containing entirely new material - at least, it was new to me - and it was admirably delivered through the sweltering heat of Pleasance's 'Above' sub-venue.

Seriously, if there is one tradition that should be lost from the Festival, it's the goddamn sweltering heat in the show spaces - you'd think they'd've learned to open a window or something by now, but alas, rubbish, floor-based air conditioning units are the order of the day.

Still, Mr Kirshen did hugely well to get a whole host of laughs out of a room of sweaty, uncomfortable people!

Anyways, I'm a little too tired to remember quotes...so I'm'a just wrap this post up and go to bed.

9 August 2009

The Wraith

A so-bad-it's-funny 80's action/vague horror movie, with some sci-fi undertones. Car chases, random killings, Charlie Sheen...this movie's got almost everything you need to laugh at it, not with it. Though I can think of worse ways to spend an evening...

7 August 2009

Yet another quick update...

Just got back from Adam Hills. It was awesome.

Choice quotes of the evening (bad language a-plenty here, just so you know)...

'It affected me the same way I imagine a clown molesting my father would. I knew it would affect me, I just wasn't sure how...'

'You know that American swimmer? Misty Hyman? I'm sorry, but if your last name is Hyman, you don't call your daughter an adjective.'

'Starbucks make BAD COFFEE. Going to Starbucks for coffee is just like going to prison for sex. You know you're gonna get it, it'll just be a bit rough.'

'We're about to recreate flashdance with Irn Bru and a man named Scott. If nothing else, you can fucking tell we're in Scotland.'

He also decided to tell us of a sign unique to Australian sign language, which means 'fuck you, fuck the lot of you'. The man is a genius!

Looks like I started strong this year. Hopefully the only way is up! Will give a fuller, more rounded opinion when I'm less tired. But for now, he was absolutely fantastic!

5 August 2009

A Walk Down the Mile 05/08/09

Sooo, thought of a new feature for those of you with a vague interest in the Festival who can't actually come up - I'll record a video each week on Wednesday along this route, which is pretty much the exact centre of the Fringe festival, complete with tourists, show publicity people and street performers!

Apologies for the rubbish sound quality - seems my hand was scraping against the microphone for some of it. Won't happen next week! Hope you enjoy!

3 August 2009

Forgotten Milestones

Didn't notice, but the Harry Potter review was my 150th post! Not one of those fake anniversary posts, either - 150 posts including 34-and-a-half movie reviews, 7-and-a-half video game reviews, and an inordinately large amount of random shite to fill the gaps. Not going so badly, so thanks to everyone who's visited for your time! If there was no-one reading it, I wouldn't bother...but so long as some traffic comes trickling my way...well, I should probably get on with it!

Fringe is going well. That's about it really - it's a job, y'know?

Got no less than three shows coming up in the next week that I'm going to see. First up on Thursday is Adam Hills. If you live in Britain or Australia and haven't seen him on any of the gamut of comedy panel shows that grace our screens, then what the hell? If you aren't in that demographic, you're kinda forgiven. Anyways, he's Australian and he's got an artificial foot. Enjoy.

Then there's Matt Kirshen, who I'm marginally less enthusiastic about, but Fee loves him. Seems to me that he recycles the same material. But then again, I only saw him at a stand-up showcase, and comedians usually have a little set planned for such occasions, so I shouldn't hold it against him. Must...wait...till...after...show...before...judging... Anyways, have a look.

Finally, there's Dylan Moran. You should know who he is, and I can't be arsed to Google him! Watch Monster over Like Totally, but whatever - he's great. His new show is called What It Is, and I've got tickets! Yay!

Nothing much else happening. Got Watchmen on Blu-Ray, which was good. It's added to my miniscule BD collection consisting of only Sweeney-Todd! Anyways, Watchmen was exactly as good as I remember it being - and in HD, it was almost like watching it in the cinema again. Only thing missing was the big surround sound, but that's still a work in progress thing that I'm planning on installing...well...y'know, when I can destroy walls without forfeiting a flat deposit.

Anyways, I'm going to try and get loads of photos of the Festival, maybe give those who can't come over to Edinburgh a small slice of what it's like! If you are coming up, give a shout out too, I'd genuinely love to hear what other people are up to!

That's it, really...bye now!