Oh come on!!!

Argh. Don't you just fucking hate it when you read something that is so deliberately obtuse that it just makes you want to brain the person who wrote it. This, and articles like it, are the source of my anger.

If you don't want to read it - and to avoid your computer being thrown away in disgust, I suggest you don't - then I'll give you the gist: according to them, The Dark Knight is responsible for inciting knife crime in the yoof of today. This is thanks to a scene where the Joker - 'played with diabolical brilliance by the late Heath Ledger' (their words, not mine) - describes why he prefers killing with a knife. And all this in a 12a (that's PG-13 to our American friends) movie.

For the love of Steve, how did this come about? This is a quite demonstrably evil character - it's so fucking clear, I think even homicidal sociapaths were thinking 'Christ, that guy's a nasty piece of work' - who is so devoid of morals that he deems that devolution to violent chaos is the solution to all problems. This is clearly a work of character who is created to be genuinely frightening, and moreover, morally reprehensible.

The point that I'm rather laboriously trudging towards is that it's not a commentary on the movie, if kids go out and buy knives to emulate the Joker. No, no and the proverbial no. First and foremost - it is up to the parents to let their children into the movie. As far as I'm concerned, 12a is still fucking 12. You can maybe get away with a 10-year-old seeing it, but otherwise, don't bring in anyone under the age of 12! Simple as. I wouldn't let my hypothetical 8-year-old near The Dark Knight, no matter how much it screamed and cried. Cinema staff are also required to tell audience members of 12a movies about any content that may well be unsuitable for the under-12's, and the parents have to make a judgement call. It is in no way Warner Brother's fault, nor the BBFC's, if the parents aren't very good at judging what their kids can handle.

But second, and more importantly, it's the parents fault for not instructing their child on the differences between good and evil...in everything. If a child is unable to distinguish between someone who is genuinely, sadistically evil, and someone who is the best in all of us, then that child has not been brought up appropriately. Parents = fail.

You can't even blame the BBFC. None of the violence in the film is brutal, gory or detailed enough to warrant a 15 certificate - it's just not, there's no way around it - and the fact that the Joker is portrayed as such a nasty bastard means that any of his dialogue is clearly meant to frighten and not encourage, so again, no 15 certificate. They stuck by their guidelines - which aren't, as the Daily Mail suggest, lax; they're more idealistic. Idealistic in the sense that they assume that people know how to raise their kids.

There...that's it. I've ranted. But that's only really a small snippet of my ire. It really pissed me off - because the majority of the world goes about their business, watching movies like The Dark Knight and playing video games like GTAIV without once considering going to town on the demographic of their local chip shop with a Beretta and a combat knife. Well at least, they may consider it once in a while, but then realise the fucking futility of it, because it'd prove the Daily Mail fucking right....and we can't have that, now, can we?

Latas.

Bollocks!

Argh! Broke my damn laptop's keyboard. Was trying to clean the damn thing, and it appears the the G and H keys have slightly more delictate parts than I originally anticipated. Suffice to say, plastic has broken, and now the damn things only barely work. Although it seems that Dell laptops have easily replaceable keyboards, so I'll just have to find somewhere to acquire one, and then I can re-fit it myself.Anyways! This comes to you from my fancy new wireless keyboard. Procured it from Curries, bundled with a wireless mouse that is suspiciously similar to my wired one, for the rather reasonable sum of £39.99. Not bad, though I do say so myself. Also get a cable to connect my PC to my TV, so that the wireless-ness of the keyboard is justified in the long run. Y'know...connect to the TV, then have long-distance, high-definition, big-screen internet surfing! Pretty cool, I reckon.

Had to ban myself from playing Halo 3. The game just frustrates the hell out of me, and I know exactly why. The bloody rank system. It simply doesn't allow you to be good at it - or at least, it doesn't allow people who aren't cosmically good at Halo to shine. Take, for instance, Call of Duty 4; even if you're in a match where there's somewhere who's infinitely better than you, if you're even remotely good at the game, chances are you'll do well. Unless every person on the other team is infinitely better than you. Problem is, with Halo, you are guaranteed to reach a point where every person on the opposing team is far, far better at the game than you. And so you just lose game after game after game after game. And let me be the first to say that losing 14 matches of slayer in a row is ridiculously frustrating. So yes, in an attempt to preserve the money invested in both my controller and our flat, I have banned myself from playing that game.
So! I have gone back to Call of Duty once again, and am enjoying being relaxed. Plus, it seems I've picked the perfect time to do so, as the new maps are going to be released shortly. Think that might be one of the things that I splash out my precious XBL Points on. Anything to change up the maps...I hate to admit it, but they're becoming a wee bit stale.

Was horribly sick on Friday and Saturday - no idea why, but I have an inkling it was to do with a chippy I had on Thursday night - so I've been doing quite a bit of surfing; found loads of great stuff. Like the trailer(s) for WALL•E. Suffice to say, it looks like Pixar's next outing into movie-world will be another palatable hit. Ctrl+Alt+Del too has providing momentary and fleeting spats of humour, which have helped passed the time between stomach cramps!

So that's it for now. Absolute bollocks, as usual, but this time not only was it figurative bollocks, but also rather manifest ones. God dammit.

Angry...

Forth Road Bridge was closed today. Meant my bus back from work was stuck on the other side of the Forth. Sat in rain and cold for two hours waiting for it. Not happy. Will find person responsible and break skull.

Yay! We're out of the Euro Cup! Wait...what?

Yup, Scotland bombed out on Saturday. Nothing to be done about it, the Italians are cheating bastards (they shove our defend over, then collapse themselves and get awarded a free-kick); and we lost concentration in the first two minutes. But otherwise, it was actually some of the best football we played for the entire tournament! We looked dangerous throughout, and whilst we did miss chances...well, what team doesn't?

Of course, this is all gossip; the Italians won 2-1 and we're out of the European Cup. Oh well. There's always the world cup. *sigh* Anyways; I did mange to get a video of the very epic singing at the match, and here it is. It was pretty intense, right up until they scored in the second minute.

Had some wanker saying something about 'Jocks not being the world-beaters they thought they were'; promptly removed his comment, the moron.

I have a job! It's a miracle! For those of you who haven't experienced Edinburgh's Christmas/New Year celebrations, they set up a massive ice rink in Prince's Street gardens; and I be working at that! It's only from the 22nd of November to the 6th of January; but at least it's experience, and I can hopefully get something marginally more permanent afterwards. The pay's good, and to be honest I'm just glad they hired me.

Have been neglecting my novel, for reasons unknown (*cough* Halo 3 *cough cough*); but I'm trying to get the story straight in my head once again - there was a moment when it all seemed a bit scrambled, and I'm attempting to amend that situation.

Aside from that, not much has happened. So that's me signing off!

Toodles!

I'm a bad person...

Yes, I shameless ripped off Halo 3's tagline. I'm not proud of it, but it certainly made you guys think twice about what the post was about, eh?

But seriously, I've been avoiding talking about Halo 3 for a while now; mainly because I'm such a rabid fan of the series that I could probably talk about it for about 3 hours and not get bored. Still, I shall get my Halo-related blogging out of the way prontisimo!

It's friggin' awesome!!!!!! I loved every minute of it!

There! I'm done! Now we can move onto other things!

I finally finished the final Harry Potter (yes, I'm a bad person for that too); and honestly, I think it was more of a last...splutter, than a last hurrah. Seriously, could she have thought of a less spectacular ending? It was so low key, that I actually wondered if I had a bad copy, and I was missing the final final chapter. But nope, my copy is a good'un; and thusly I was left with the rather soppy, annoyingly sentimental prologue to grapple with.

I've always had a problem with the Harry Potter novels. It's not that I think they're poorly written - although I do think that to call them brilliant is just plain wrong; Phillip Pullman writes brilliance, compared to him, Ms Rowling is about as talented as a lobotomised baboon. But they aren't bad either; they're just...there. No, my problem with her novels is that I do believe that she's lowered the standard of fantasy everywhere; it's her fault that utter morons like Christopher Paolini and GP Taylor ever got published; although their novels are of such inferior quality even to JK Rowling's that I honestly thought about tearing out my eyes after I read them.

Back on to Harry Potter; I dunno...it might just be because I was brought up with proper, High Fantasy; it might just be that I'm a pretentious git (probably the latter, but I'm past caring); I just don't find her novels that entertaining. Still, the rest of the world does; so it might be time to admit that I'm wrong. But I'd never do that!

What else? Oh yes - having finished The Deathly Hallows, I promptly retrieved my His Dark Materials from home, and plan on finishing Northern Lights before the film comes out in December. I have to say I'm looking forward to it, if only to see if Pullman's dense, thoughtful text actually translates properly to the big screen. Fingers crossed, eh?

That's about it for now. I'm finally tired after sleeping in until 2pm this afternoon - yes. I'm still jobless, but I've got tons of balls in the air, and hopefully one of them will get back to me with some good news. But for now, I play the waiting game.

Or rather, the sleeping game. G'night!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR...

..RRRRRRRGH!!!

I just stepped on a goddamn plug that was lying pins up on the floor! Damn that stung.

So! What else is on my mind today? And, obviously, not in my foot!

Yet another great, yet somehow cancelled show - Dead Like Me. I don't understand why I keep falling in love with shows that get cancelled - or, indeed, have been cancelled for ages! But it keeps happened. Dead Like Me is an enormous amount of fun; it's apparently a 'Bangsian fantasy'. And that, for those - like me - who have/had no clue what that means, the Wiki page is very informative. But in short, it's set partially or wholly in the Afterlife. And it's about Reapers - ordinary people who die, and then get drafted into the employ of the Divine (or something) to reap souls!

It's got a fantastically morbid sense of humour - some of the deaths that the main characters have to reap are hilarious, as is the occasionally totally insane dialogue. The main characters are all drawn from varioius parts of modern history - they are, after all, dead and have been for some time - and the clash of personalities is particularly entertaining. Anyways, basically, catch it if you can! It's great!

I also tried to convince my 55-year-old father to go to see Transformers with me - but as you can probably guess, that was 27 minutes of my life wasted! Still, I'm certainly wanting to go see it, so I'll probably get the bus into Falkirk during the week. Should be fun. I've been looking forward to this for a while - with almost TMNT levels of anticipation. Those were two of my 'things' as a kid, Transformers and Ninja Turtles (or 'Hero' Turtles, as we were forced to call them in good old Blighty.

I was mildly pleased with the with the way TMNT turned out - and to be absolutely honest, I love Michael Bay films; so Transformers has all the potential to be one of my favourites of Summer 2007! Although Spidey 3 is certainly up there...

I finally bit the bullet and began retconning my story to be 1) more coherent, plotwise (it was already pretty coherent, but I just wanted it to be more so), and 2) to incorporate a few things I'd been wanting to put in for a while. Also, I completely reworked the money system - with the help of my esteemed friend Nathaniel - because honestly the amount of inconsistencies were getting ridiculous. So I've now got it set in stone! Wahey!

Oh! Saw III has finally graced my sight, and honestly? I enjoyed it. It was far gorier than the last two - the Twisting Crucifix was particularly ingenious/twisted (pun intended) - but the plot was a little more coherent than the second (which didn't seem to have any plot when compared to the first). So overall, a rather fun rating of 7/10 from me!

And that's about it for this evening/morning/what-the-fuck-ever.

Laters, everyone!

Harry Potter, Fuses and more...

Wow - it's been a Harry Potter weekend. I just can't escape the bugger. Yes, that's right - I'm one of the handful of people who doesn't like. I won't say they're in any way bad books - in fact, most of the evidence points to them being very good books - but I just honestly don't get them. Maybe I got into them too late (I read the first one when I was 15, in 2002); maybe I'm just weird. Could also be that this is a much 'lower' standard of fantasy (as in, there's High Fantasy, and then there's 'lower' fantasy) than I was brought up with...it's more mainstream, it's more teen-orientated, it's just more...bleurgh. But hey, everyone else seems to like it, and I realise I'm in a tiny minority...but I'm sticking with my opinion.

Anyways, my friends convinced me to go to see the latest film offering from the bespectacled boy-wizard. And I have to say that whilst I wasn't exactly enthralled - I have, after all, maintained that they would've made better films from the outset; and was bitterly disappointed with the first four films - they've finally found the right director for the job. Chris Columbus was just plain wrong; Alfonso Cuaron I admire greatly, but he had the tough job of balancing the style of the third novel with his intense style of filmmaking; and Mike Newell - despite making the better of the first four films - still wasn't quite on the money. But David Yates' direction was excellent - he balanced the slightly more cutesy stuff perfectly with the darker final third. And good news, he's signed on to direct number six! So clearly the boys at Warner Bros. were just as impressed as I was! Plus Imelda Staunton was fantastic as Umbridge; as were a lot of the other adult actors.

Still the movie wasn't without it's problems - Emma Watson bizarrely has turned into a eyebrows-and-nose-flare actress, the script was still a bit flakey, and the editing department once again cut far too much out (and occasionally left things in that they should've cut out). So I'd give it a 6/10, for the fantastic direction, the solid acting (finally), and the quality of the final battle.

As for the new book...well, I have a copy - but I'm in the middle of The Northern Lights, and I don't like focusing my attention on two different books at once - mostly because I'm a moron and get the two plots mixed up in my head! But my thoughts shall be returned to you faithful readers (hah!) when I finish it. The adult cover is certainly very foreboding...a Slytherin amulet, eh? Intriguing!

What else, what else...oh! Microshaft have pissed me off. We had a power spike that blew half the fuses in the house. I know this because half of the lights went off, loads of devices stopped working (including my Xbox 360 mid-use). Anyways, so I worked my way around the house, replacing all the fuses, until I finally got to the thing. I replaced the fuse, then crashed back down on my bed to see if I can pick up where I left off.

Nothing. Nada. So I check the supply, and the light isn't coming on. My initial reaction was 'silly Ross; you replaced it with one of the already burnt out fuses!'. So I go downstairs, retrieve one that I know to be working (first one out of a newly opened pack!). Still nothing. So I think 'bugger...my power supply's fucked'.

But then, on closer inspection, on the plug it claims it only draws 2.7 amps from the wall. The 'blown' fuse in the plug was 10 amps! Intrigued, I slap the fuse I into the power cable for my laptop, and guess what? The bloody fuse wasn't blown! Which means that the goddamn factory fitted it with a fuse that was too goddamn big!!!!!

Argh! I'm furious with Microsoft, to be absolutely honest. The power supply's buggered, and there's a good chance that the 360 might be buggered along with it; all because of one tiny component problem. Hopefully they'll deliver their great customer service tomorrow, because I really don't want to have to shell out on a brand new console.

Well, that's it for today. Keep chilled out, ladies and gents!!

A Cancellation of Innocuity

Yes, I'm finally retiring that joke, seeing as it weren't funny. But it's also a fairly neat lead in to what I be thinking about presently.

Thing is, Fox (the broadcasting company...not the dude from Lost) have done it again - they've cancelled a show just as it was getting interesting. The show in question? Drive.

It was absolutely ace! I don't usually get instantly impressed by shows in 2 episodes; but this one had me hooked. This was a Firefly-esque 'this is going to be fantastic' kinda feeling. But then, I should've listened a little harder to my gut - because as I'm sure you know, Firefly too was given the chop by Fox.

It's just disappointing that Fox are so very money driven (excuse the pun); surely they can afford to hold up a few not-so-highly rated shows with their (so-called for that very ability) tent-pole shows - 24, House, Prison Break and The Simpsons, along with their bullshit reality shows. Besides - Drive achieved 6 million viewers! If a show achieved that many people in the UK, it'd be considered a success. But for Fox...axe it.

And to really drive (god I can't stop...) the knife home; they haven't properly aired the 'final' two episodes - having originally stated they would air them on the 4th and then the 13th, just two days ago - instead posting them online where no-one is going to be able to watch them! So honestly, I'm annoyed at them.

What else...what else. Watched a few movies - including Zodiac as I write this - but nothing really significant, mostly either the dross on Sky movies or things from my DVD collection. I may or may not post a review of Zodiac, depending on how much I like/dislike it. At the moment it's leaning towards the former!

I located my 'His Dark Materials' books, inspired by seeing the trailer during my general perusing. Gonna try and get around to reading them - and hope they're just as good upon a second viewing.

On the trailers side, too, I found one for a great looking movie called Shoot 'Em Up; which looks like good old smashmouth fun. Plus, I love Monica Bellucci ('cause I'm a sucker for a brunette with big...eyes); and Clive Owen - as an actor - is growing on me, after I saw him in both Children of Men and Inside Man.

Anyways, that's it for now.

Lata!

Console Wars: Episode I

A Continuation of Innocuity

Yeah, I know..shameless rip-off of Star Wars - but my brain is numb.

So, now that the PS3 has finally been on the worldwide market for some time now, there's one helluva lotta shit being tossed between the three 'fanboy' camps (with the PC gamers standing at the window, laughing their arses off). And it's honestly got me thoroughly entertained.

For starters, I want to clear something up. I'm frequently lumped in with the Xbox 360 'fanboy' camp. That is totally unfair - I'm actually more in the 'not in the PS3 camp' camp, if you catch my drift. And I have good reason for this - with the PS3, Sony have essentially given a giant middle finger to their loyal following. I honestly can't see how the PS3 fans can't see that Sony have delivered them a product that is nowhere near what they could have gotten.

Lets see:

1. They gratuitously didn't come up with a single original idea for their controller. They nicked the 360 Guide Button, the Ring of Light and the analogue triggers from Microsoft. They blantantly copied the Wii's motion sensing idea, in some kind of vain attempt to prove that it's merely a gimmick. And to cap it all, they didn't include a rumble feature - which most gamers would prefer over motion-sensing. At least Microsoft came up with a few neat ideas and mixed the controller up a bit (making it better, in the process), and Nintendo - obviously - came up with admittedly cool idea of motion sensing.
   
2. The thing is huge. We're talking 'were the hell am I gonna put my TV' huge. Plus it looks like a grill my Dad bought in America - really, I'm not just saying that because of that slightly bizarre picture produced; my Dad actually has a grill that looks just like it. If I can find a picture, I'll post it! Anyways, when you think about the actual comparable power of the 360 and the PS3 - the relative sizes are ridiculous. We're disregarding the Wii here, because honestly, it's not truly next-gen. It's just a Gamecube with - yes, Sony you were right - a gimmicky controller; so they can compact it into a tiny space.
3. The so-called 'backwards compatibility' doesn't...actually...work. You'd be better off playing your PS1 and PS2 games on your old PS2 - at least then you get a vaguely decent image quality. As it stands, the PS3 produces a vastly inferior picture quality when playing PS1&2 games. Microsoft have small problems with certain games when it comes to this (Fable and Thief 3 are the ones I've managed to identify), but for the most part the 360's BWC works like a dream.
   
4. The menu is bizarrely complicated. Yes, it's aimed at the so-called 'hardcore' - but honestly, an iota of user-friendliness would have been appreciated. Also, the last time I used one (there may well have been updates in the last two months that fix these), it wouldn't allow us to connect to a wireless network that didn't have an internet connection...and it can't create ad-hoc networks - something the 360 can do pretty much out of the box, given the correct hardware.
5. So far, every multi-platform game has looked better on the 360 (as proven by Gamespot) - with the notable exception of The Darkness, which looks different on each platform, but equally good.

The one thing I won't complain about is pricing. In order to get a 360 up to the additional hardware standards of a PS3, you have to spend £445 (360 Premium Pack, Wireless Bridge, HD-DVD player, Play-and-Charge Kit), as opposed to the £400 for the PS3, which comes with the equivalent built in/included. However, for people who aren't interested in HD movies (or for those who already have an HD player), it's a no-brainer, really.

Although, obviously the important thing is the games, right? And ultimately, you should go with the console that has the games you want to play. I bought the 360, because of the enormous number of exclusive titles that I want to play (Halo 3, Gears of War, Bioshock to name three) - plus I like the nice chunky controller.

As for the Wii - well, until Super Smash Bros Brawl comes out and subsequently gets good reviews, I'm on the fence as to buying one. But beyond that, the only criticism I have is that they didn't go truly next gen - which they easily could have. All other criticisms are aimed squarely at developers; you can't just port games to the Wii! It doesn't work like that! You have to actually think about it. Yes, EA, I'm looking at you.

And that's pretty much all that's in my brain at the moment...so...yeah...g'night!